


Chuck versus the Yogurt Man

by misura



Category: Burn Notice, Chuck (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-07
Updated: 2011-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 04:13:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey helps out an old friend. Chuck gets roped into helping. (Literally.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chuck versus the Yogurt Man

Short version of a long story: Chuck gets kidnapped ( _again_ ) and ends up tied to a chair ( _again_ ) while someone asks him questions about something he really, honestly, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die knows nothing about.

All same old, same old, really, except for two things, the first being that his captors usually don't interrupt their question to grab a yogurt. Villains and yogurt - they just don't seem to mix.

The second thing is that usually, Casey isn't sitting idly by, decidedly un-tied up.

 

"See, the thing is, Chuck - mind if I call you 'Chuck'?" Yogurt Man says, sounding all friendly and polite and far too much like every initially friendly and polite seeming psychopath Chuck has ever run into in his career as the Intersect.

"Actually, my name's Charles. Charles Carmichael," Chuck says, because lesson one on How To Be a Spy is: always stick to your cover.

Casey grunts. "It's like his spy name or something."

Supportive, that's what Casey is. Also: paying entirely too little attention to the fact that hel-lo, tied up database chock-full of government secrets over here.

"What, Chuck? Your code name's Chuck?" Yogurt Man sounds like he's genuinely interested, like he has taken a genuine interest in the topic.

Casey snorts.

"Um, it's more like my regular name?" There's not a lot of people to whom he's not 'Chuck'.

Yogurt Man nods. "Okay, that's cool. You want me to call you 'Charles'? I can do that."

Accommodating, that's what Yogurt Man is. "Chuck's fine," Chuck mumbles, feeling a little embarrassed about this whole detour from the 'tell me your secrets before I do something really unpleasant to you', right until he remembers that every extra second he keeps Yogurt Man on (relatively) unimportant topics is an extra second for Sarah to come and kick in the door for some goold old-fashioned ass-kicking and rescuing.

Of course, considering Casey, she might just pop in and grab a yogurt before sitting down to watch the show.

"Chuck it is." Yogurt Man smiles, showing teeth. "Nice to meet you, Chuck. I'm Michael."

"Um," Chuck says. "Hi?"

"Now, my friend Casey here tells me you've got some pretty interesting things in that head of yours, Chuck," Michael says, and it takes Chuck a full minute to get over the fact that yup, someone's just referred to Casey as their friend and Casey hasn't caused them any bodily harm or even voiced a single protest.

"Um. He did?" It doesn't make sense. Nothing about this whole thing makes sense, really.

Michael arches an eyebrow, conveying a certain amount of disappointment in Chuck's deliberate obtuseness. It shouldn't work - Chuck doesn't know Michael, other than as 'the guy who kidnapped me and tied me to a chair', and that's no reason at all to want to do or say anything at all that Michael may want of him, except that Ellie's got a look just like that.

If Chuck survives this, he's going to _kill_ Casey. Or give him a stern talking-to, at any rate. Tell on him to Sarah, definitely. "Oh. You mean the Intersect."

Michael smiles without showing teeth this time. "That's right. You look like a pretty smart guy, Chuck."

"Go ahead, tell me I look like a nerd."

"Did I say you look like a nerd to me?" Michael asks - rhetorically, Chuck is pretty sure. "I did not say you looked like a nerd to me. Maybe you think of yourself as a nerd and hey - that's cool with me. So you're good with computers. I respect that. Me, I have trouble just figuring out how to attach a bunch of pictures to an e-mail."

Casey coughs. Loudly.

Michael doesn't so much as look at him.

Chuck feels oddly and strangely pleased. It's all part of Michael's interrogation technique - part of him knows that, and yet it still works. It's flattering to be paid undivided attention to.

"When would this have been?" Casey asks. "When you were stuck in an Armenian hospital with both your legs and your arms broken, or when you got yourself handcuffed to a bed in Dublin by that she-devil of yours?"

"Fi's fine, thanks for asking, John," Michael says. "And there's nothing wrong with a bit consensual bondage between adults. She just ... had to go somewhere." He smiles apologetically at Chuck. Chuck smiles back before he can stop himself.

"So, hey, you and Casey are old friends, huh?" Chuck asks, happy to sidetrack some more. 

"That's right, Chuck." Michael says, plenty happy to smile at him some more.

"And now you're uh trying to renew your friendship?" Chuck wonders if there's a tactful way to ask 'would you lke to switch sides so that we can all walk out of this room as friends?'.

"You could say that, Chuck," Michael says.

"If you're an idiot," Casey mutters, loud enough to be overheard but not loud enough to merit a reply from Michael.

"You see, Chuck, here's the thing," Michael goes on. "I got a burn notice. Do you know what a burn notice is, Chuck?"

The Intersect remains unhelpful. Still, it's not so very hard to figure out. "You were fired," Chuck says.

Michael nods, looking pleased with him. "I got fired, Chuck. Because _someone_ told my superiors I'd been compromised. I'm a bit upset about that. Can you understand why I'd be a little upset about that, Chuck?"

Chuck thinks of all the times he's wished _not_ to be a spy. It's been a while since the last one, really. "Um, yes?"

"So then my friend Casey tells me you've got access to all these secret government files, and I'm thinking: 'hey, maybe - just maybe - there's something about _me_ in there'. Something to help me understand why anyone would want to burn me. A name, a place, anything. Worth a shot, right?"

Chuck finds himself nodding before he quite realizes what it is he's agreeing to.

Michael keeps smiling for another few seconds, then sighs. "You've got no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"He'd have flashed the moment he saw you if there'd been anything," Casey says matter-of-factly.

Michael closes his eyes briefly. Chuck sympathizes. "Thanks for telling me that, John."

Casey shrugs. "Just wanted to see how far you'd get to breaking him. Going soft, Westen."

"I'd have talked," Chuck says quickly. "If, you know, I'd known anything. I like people who don't think violence is the answer to everything."

Michael reaches for the ropes and starts untying him. He doesn't actually apologize, but that's fine.

Casey gets up the moment Chuck does. There might be a hint of apology or sympathy in the look he gives Michael before shoving Chuck in the direction of the door.

"Stay alive, Westen."

"That's the plan," Michael says.

"Bye," Chuck says, because Ellie's taught him good manners. "And sorry things didn't work out."

"Idiot," Casey grumbles.

 

Sarah is waiting in the car. It makes Chuck feel betrayed, then ashamed of himself for doubting Casey.

He understands friendship, after all - and he knows that for all of his rough talking, Casey understands it, too.


End file.
